Somewhere Only We Know
by Seirarin
Summary: That was it. You were gone, and it was time to set you free. In the place only we knew. Shonen-ai.


So I was out walking the other day and I realized, "Wow. It's been a long time since I did a oneshot." So I wrote this. Sorry if the time skips are a little confusing, but it should make sense after a while. I hope.

I remember how reluctant you were the first time we went there. I had to take your hand and pull you along, like a small child.

"It's so far back in the woods," you complained as we hopped over fallen branches. "We're going to get lost."

"It'll be fine, Ryou," I said to you. "I've been here before." You were quiet after that, glancing around at every snap of a twig or rustle in the bushes. But I pulled you forward until we reached it. The spot only I knew, that I had decided to share with you.

Your eyes widened when you first saw it. It wasn't much- a small neck of the river, cloaked in a thick layer of trees- but there was something about the peacefulness that entranced you. In other words, you could have called it love at first sight.

"Bakura, it's… it's beautiful," you breathed.

"It's not much, really."

"I know." You smiled your soft, trademark smile. "That's what makes it beautiful."

Xxx

At first, you didn't believe him. You were sixteen, too young to be told you were dying. Neither one of us did, really. Just because you had had a few slight fevers wasn't supposed to mean anything. But it must have been worse than we thought, because not even the most experienced doctors on staff could figure out what was wrong with you. All they could do was put you on some medication and prepare for the worst.

The whole time you sat in that doctor's office, being handed your death sentence, you never said a word. The same smile that stayed on your face said everything you couldn't. That was another thing about you. When you couldn't find the right words to say, you smiled. Even when you were facing your death.

Xxx

After I showed it to you, you always wanted to go back. Any apprehension you had at first must have evaporated, because there were times where you led me to our destination. Then we would stay for hours and talk, laughing at every stupid little thing. Sometimes we would stay until it got dark, watching the moon and stars. We didn't worry about getting back home in the dark. After all, we knew the pathway like the backs of our hands. We had nothing to fear, so long as we had each other.

Xxx

That first night, you were terrified. You had been admitted to the hospital after a long day of tests that came out negative, needles filled with medicine we weren't sure was working. Both of us had to beg on our hands and knees to let me, the closest thing to family you had, stay the night.

I remember that it was that night. The first time I ever saw you cry. I held your quivering body in my arms as you sobbed and sobbed, worrying about the future, or what was left of it. You apologized to me, too. "I'm so sorry, Bakura," you said over and over, between heavy sobs. "I don't want to leave you yet…"

I had to lie to you then. I had to say that everything would be alright, that you were going to get well again. After all, it was the only thing I could do for myself. Even if it was selfish of me.

XXX

Back then, it came as a surprise. When you told me that you loved me. But now, thinking back on it, I shouldn't have been. We spent so much together, there was no way we could just be friends.

Of course, when you said it, we were by the river. It was late July, so we had our feet in the cool, slow-moving water.

"Bakura," you said, refusing to look me in the eye. "Would you get mad at me if I said that I-"

"I'm going to guess. You're going to say that you love me or something, right?" I hadn't meant it. I never- not even in my wildest dreams- thought that that would be the case. But your face turned an even deeper shade of red, and you nodded.

"Y-yeah. I want to be with you forever, Bakura."

I laughed at that time, mainly out of nervousness. "Isn't that a bit extreme? We're still teenagers." But I saw it. The spark in your eyes that showed me just how serious you were. I think that was the first time I ever saw that look.

"Alright," I said. "Forever. Then our lips touched, and my heart lept. We were going to be together forever, and I knew it.

Xxx

During those long months in the hospital, I rarely ever left your side. You would always tell me, "Go home. You need to focus on your studies."

I would reply, "I'd rather drop out than leave." It would be so fun to see you get angry at me.

But then you would say, "You'll need to have a life after I'm gone." We were always silent after that.

Xxx

Somewhere between spending lots of time together and all our time together, we spent no time together. It wasn't a long stretch, but it was sort of lonely. You had all of your other friends, like Yugi and Marik, but you were all I had.

I remember going back to our spot a lot, as though it could bring you back.

And one day, when I had almost given up hope of ever seeing you again, it did. You smiled.

"Welcome back, Bakura."

Xxx

You only got worse and worse after that. In fact, it was only a handful of weeks before we knew. We knew that you weren't going to leave that room alive. Some days were worse than others. Some you barely needed me at all. But the bad days were so bad you screamed, saying you would rather die. I couldn't say anything when you said that. I wished sometimes that I could take on some of your pain. I only wanted to see your smile, but even that was too much to ask.

"Hey, Bakura," You asked one night. I think it was a good night; I can't remember now. "Can you do something for me?"

"What is it, Ryou?"

"When I die, I… I want to be cremated. And I want to be by the river."

I had to fight back tears when you said that. The way you said it… even now, I can't find the words to describe it. You were so absolute, so firm in your decision.

"I know you'll be there when I'm gone. This way, we can always be together."

You won me over with those words. I nodded.

"Right. By the river."

Xxx

You weren't around for much longer after that. The night you left this world will forever haunt me.

You had been sleeping a lot. The doctors all said that meant that you were reaching the end.

That night, however, you were wide awake. You begged me to stay, as though you knew what was about to happen. I agreed without any hesitation, after clearing it with the hospital. They granted permission almost immediately- looking back on it, I was probably the only one who didn't see it coming.

You refused to let go of my hand for those final hours. We talked about the most random things imaginable, if only to distract us for a little while.

By my watch, it was 11:15 when it started to happen. You got this smile on your face, to show that you weren't afraid.

"Bakura?" you whispered, squeezing my hand. "I… I love you. Never forget that, okay?"

"What are you saying, Ryou?" My whole body trembled. This couldn't be the time, not now.

"Do you remember our promise? I want to be by the river…"

"Not yet… damn it, Ryou, not yet!" I couldn't fight it any more. Tears dripped from my face onto your thin blanket. "We're going back there, and it'll be with you alive. We'll hold hands and talk about our days… even when we're old men, we'll still go back!"

You shook your head, and smiled one more time- a genuine, Ryou smile. "I'm sorry." And your eyes closed for the last time. Your hand fell limp in mine, and I knew what had happened.

And to be honest, I don't remember much of what happened after that. I think I called for help, praying in my subconscious that something could still be done for you. That was followed by the confirmation of my worst nightmare. You, my only love, were dead, and I hadn't been able to stop it.

Xxx

None of the next few days really registered in my mind. It was a blur of phone calls, planning, and empty pity from your friends. They said they had missed you- even though they only came to visit once- and that they knew what I was going through, when they had no idea. They hadn't known you, not like I had.

Of course, I told all the people involved about your plan. None of them had a word against it, and they said that since you had no living family, and because it's what you would have wanted, I could take the ashes.

Xxx

Which brings us to now. I'm standing at the riverbank, holding what's left of you in my arms.

I really don't want to do this. I promised that I would never let you go, and now here I am, about to let you fly to the wind. I was reluctant at first. A part of me wanted to keep you, forever. But I had to do this. It was all you wanted. So I unscrew the lid, tip the jar, and set you free.


End file.
